Book Was Better Classics: The Net!

I'm on holiday, so instead of a new episode here's a classic from the archive! Relive some of the highlights from the original Book Was Better run with co-host Jessica McLeod, starting with this personal favourite - the novelization of Sandra Bullock's insane The Net!

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FPcast for December 28 2015: Merry Christmas!

This week we have an informal chat about our Christmas experience, including reviews of the horrible 1989 Ninja Turtles Christmas, and the Star Wars Holiday special! Plus we talk Avengers trivia, review the excellent Art of the Force Awakens and a whole lot of other noise! Happy holidays!

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StarWTF!? Episode 53: Lumpy (The 2015 StarWTF!? Holiday Special)

While The rest of the country celebrates the new Star Wars film, we here at StarWTF!? know that's there's something more important about this time of year. That's right, it's time to cuddle up by the fire and remember that the Star Wars Holiday Special exists. And boy, do we have a big one this year. He's tiny, he's hairy, he's... Lumpy? Yes, the true stand out star of the Star Wars holiday special makes his premiere on our show! We discuss everything from his humble origins to his insane future! Is Lumpy Chewbacca's son? What is his real name exactly? Why is he so darned terrifying? Find out all this and more as we dig into the lumpy carpet that is Lumpy.

It should be noted that before you begin this episode, that this was recorded before we saw The Force Awakens. So, any predictions and guesses that we say are likely false. Please feel free to make fun of us if we manage to say some guess that turned out hilariously wrong.

Download Episode 53 - Lumpy

Lumpawaroo, also known as Waroo, was a Wookiee male who emerged from the shadow of his famous father Chewbacca to become a brave, talented, and powerful warrior within the Rwookrrorrocommunity on the planet Kashyyyk. Born Lumpawarrump in 1 BBYand known as Lumpy throughout his youth, he was raised by his mother Mallatobuck and his grandfather Attichitcuk while Chewbacca served a life debt to and traveled the galaxy with the Human smuggler Han Solo. 

The Book Was Better Episode 150: Annual Novelization Challenge - Elf Man!

It's that time of year! Welcome to the annual Book Was Better Novelization Challenge! The tables have turned when WE write the novelization instead of making fun of it! The hard-working Tim the Stats Man has gifted us a transcript of 2012's obscure movie Elf Man (starring Wee Man from Jackass!) and a team of us have banded together Exquisite Corpse style to adapt it into our very own, original festive novelization! Unlike our regular episodes this one is a full audio book (running a whopping 2 1/2 hours!) and featuring: Jessica, Lizzy Unpronounceable, Courtney Coulson, Suzanne, Jacinta, Paris and work from Hector Weenis, Kenney, and Zach! By far our biggest episode ever and what better way to celebrate our 150th!

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FPcast for December 21 2015: The Force Awakens!

This week we share our impassioned review of the biggest movie of the year: Star Wars: The Force Awakens. We talk about some other stuff too, but STARWARZZZZZ!!!!1

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StarWTF!? Episode 52: PZ-4CO (and The Force Awakens!)

We decided to do a very speculative episode on a Force Awakens character that we really know nothing about. Based off of an action figure, we chose PZ-4CO, a Resistance Base Control Room Droid, who is as blue as it gets and has a very cool, yet kind of funky-looking action figure.

The first half of this episode consists of our pre-The Force Awakens speculation and the second is our post-The Force Awakens realizations (and a SPOILER HEAVY brief discussion of the film).  So if you've seen the film, listen away! If you haven't, we tell you when to stop (around 16 minutes and 30 seconds).

So what's up with PZ-4CO? Will this droid be important? Force sensitive? Save the world?

Download Episode 52 - PZ-43O

The Book Was Better Episode 149: The Santa Clause (with guest host Lia!)

Forget coal! This week naughty listeners get punished when we read the wafer-thin novelization of killing-Santa comedy The Santa Clause! Joining me in the sleigh is guest host Lia as we talk about deadbeat dads, the high Santa death rate, and try to figure out why anyone in their right mind would be interested in Tim Allen! This is the darkest Christmas story of them all!

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FPcast for December 14th 2015: Peanuts!

In this week's jam-packed episode we share early reviews of The Revenant and The Peanuts Movie, plus our holiday jam is The Night Before. Plus casting news, we look at a whole bunch of trailers including X-Men: Apocalypse and Ninja Turtles 2, and we play Yo-Kai Watch. And more! Let us come down your chimney!

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StarWTF!? Episode 51: Battle Droid

Yet again we peer into the deep depths of stupidity that is the Phantom Menace and bring out one of the first things we see on screen. It's the Battle Droid! Those ineffectual robots that we see get taken down by the thousands through out the prequel trilogy and Clone Wars TV show. Listen as we discuss the in and outs of these robot failures and talk about all the dumb things involved in their creation behind the scenes. What does the head of a battle droid look like? How many kinds of them are there? Why where they ineffectual enemies? Is is Gungan or Gunga? Find out as we slash our way through the cannon fodder robots!

Download Episode 51 - Battle Droid

During the Clone Wars, the Confederacy of Independent Systems used a variety of battle droids in their droid army, including B1 battle droids, B2 super battle droids, and Droidekas. The battle droids were often led in military campaigns by the Kaleesh cyborg General Grievous.

Although battle droids were outlawed by the Galactic Empire in the wake of the Clone Wars, companies such as Holowan Laboratories were able to evade the ban by having their products reclassified as security droids.

The Book Was Better Episode 148: The Grinch! (with guest host Lauren)

This week we continue our jaunt down Santa Claus Lane as we read the flimsy novelization of green-hairy-Carrey Christmas-stealing movie: The Grinch! How did the Grinch steal Christmas you ask? Helping me solve this incredibly anti-climactic puzzle is none other than festive expert (and actual American) guest host Lauren! Warm up your sugar plums! I'm reaching into your stockings!

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FPcast for December 7 2015: The Good Dinosaur!

This week we travel back to an alternate prehistory as we review Pixar's latest flick: The Good Dinosaur! Plus we discuss the exciting new Disaster Artist casting, Black Panther, that Batman V Superman trailer, Shane Black's new Russ Crowe adventure AND we start reviewing some really awful made-for-TV Christmas movies! Find out why it truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

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The Book Was Better Episode 147: Home Alone 2 (with guest host Xavier!)

This week begins the most wonderful time of the year when we celebrate the holidays by reading the novelization of adults-being-irresponsible/neglectful Christmas comedy: Home Alone 2! And joining me on this festive journey is none other than the long-absent and sorely missed Christmas helper Xavier! We'll find out how the same thing can happen to the same kid twice, plus answer other pressing questions like how do you play Ding Dang Dong? Listen and learn!

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FPcast for November 30 2015: Creed!

This week we review the next chapter in the Rocky boxing saga: Creed! Will it punch us in our pleasure zones? Plus we discuss that Captain America: Civil War trailer, drop some Eurovision news, and give the final word on Jessica Jones! Get inside our ring!

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The Book Was Better Episode 146: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (with guest host Hector Weenis!)

This week we traverse post-apocalypse 'Straya alongside mighty mulleted hero Max, as we read The Vinge's novelization of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome! And joining me on this trek past strange characters with unusual names, is strange character with an unusual name: Hector Weenis! Will Mad Max find his monkey? Why is he so mad anyway? And what makes Angry Anderson angry? You'd be mad to miss it!

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FPcast for November 23 2015: Mockingjay Part 2!

This week we review the final chapter of The Hunger Games saga: Mockingjay Part 2: Katniss Boogaloo. Were we satisfied with the ending or - like two big old baboons - do we have nits to pick? The more foolhardy of you can find out in our spoiler section at the end. Plus we breakdown a ton of new trailers, and give a new review of Star Wars Battlefront. Stick us in your ears or we'll do it for you!

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The Book Was Better Episode 145: Paper Planes! (with guest host Jacinta)

This week we tackle a fair dinkum Aussie classic, when we read the novelization of kid-chucks-origami movie Paper Planes! And who better to help translate this bogan explosion than true blue guest host, Jacinta! And did I mention that this film stars Sam Wortho Worthington? Best bloody actor in Australia - if not the whole world!

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FPcast for November 16th 2015: Spectre!

This week we review James Bond's latest adventure, Spectre, including a special spoiler section at the end where we gleefully swim around in its larger plot-holes. Plus we wildly speculate on all the latest goings on with our favourite (and not-so-favourite) celebrities, all while drinking beer in extreme heat. What could possibly go wrong!?

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StarWTF!? Episode 49: Qabbrat a/k/a Darth Vader's Meditation Chamber

Ah! It's good to be out of a prequel or a expanded universe character and back on to the classics! Today, we talk about the Qabbrat! The good old classic Qabbrat! What? Don't know what that is? Well, you certainly remember it quite well! It's Darth Vader's Meditation chamber from The Empire Strikes Back!

We look in depth to this device, discussing it's innards and speculate what else it does? Does that helmet arm do anything else? Can it transported places? Does he have more? Why is it called a Qabbrat? Found out as our robo arms apply our breathing masks and talk about this weird pod one useless fact at a time.

Download Episode 49 - Qabbrat

Darth Vader's meditation chamber, or Qabbrat[1] was a life support pod that allowed the Sith Lord to survive for extended periods without the helmet and mask of his suit. The injuries Vader sustained during the duel with Obi-Wan Kenobi on Mustafar normally made this impossible.

The Book Was Better Episode 144: Noah (with guest host Zach!)

This week we get down in the biblical sense when we read the novelization of Aronofsky's Noah, based on a really old bestseller! My other half on this trip is new guest host Zach as we try our best to wrap our heads around Russ Crowe's crazy psychopathic Noah, ninja-ing doodz to death in a world gone insane! Don't risk your eternal soul - join us on the ark!

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FPcast for November 9th 2015: Bone Tomahawk!

This week we review cowboys vs cannibals adventure Bone Tomahawk, plus Luke endures all six Paranormal Activity movies. And there's plenty of news, from international Star Wars trailers, Chloe Grace Moretz mermaids, Benedict's new mo', and other assorted nonsense. Plus we speculate on what role best-Actor-in-Australia Sam Wortho Worthington could play in a future Star Wars!

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StarWTF!? Episode 48: Gragra

We apologize for once again bringing up the Phantom Menace yet again, but we’ve managed to dig something quite interesting out of the bowels of it’s infinite oddities.

It’s Gragra, the Mos Espa gorgmonger who yells at Jar Jar to stop eating her weird lizard things on strings. While seemingly an obscure character with no back story, Gragra manages to have one of the most bizarre back stories we’ve seen so far. What exactly is Gragra? What’s a Gorgmonger and what exactly is a gorg? What’s Gragra’s home life like? How many gorgs does it take to buy a starship? Find out all of this and more as we discuss this Swokes Swokes one useless fact at a time.

Download Episode 48 - Gragra

Gragra was a Swokes Swokes gorgmonger that worked in the marketplace of Mos Espa. Gragra grew her food in a sewer zone underneath Mos Espa.

The Book Was Better Episode 143: Event Horizon (with guest host Paris)

All aboard the HMS Hellship as we read, debate, discuss and poke fun at the novelization of haunted-house-in-space movie Event Horizon! And joining me on this spine-tingling adventure is brand new crew-mate Paris. We'll learn all sorts of crazy stuff like Sam Neill's shaving technique, his surprisingly bold favourite type of underwear, and whether he prefers the floor or the ceiling! Plus you know... HELL! Let's bust those space-spooks!

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FPcast for November 2 2015: The Last Witch Hunter!

Halloween might be over, but we still manage to squeeze out a little bit of spooky-juice as we review Vin Diesel's bewildering vanity project The Last Witch Hunter! Plus we saw the live-action adaptation of crazy manga: Assassination Classroom, talk about Sam Wortho and the Australian AACTA awards, plus news, trailers, television and more! Let us educate your face!

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StarWTF!? Episode 47: Jaxxon

He’s green, he’s furry, and he’s got a whole lot of attitude! He’s Jaxxon! If you don’t quite remember that name then you may remember him as the Green Anthropomorphic bunny wearing a spacesuit that you read about once in a list of the worst Star Wars expanded universe characters. We take a look at this rather obscure character from a 1977 Star Wars comic and discuss what the character’s done and where he’s gone since his debut. Where did Jaxxon come from? How did he come to work with Han Solo? How sweet looking was his spaceship? Does he like carrots? Find out all of this and more as we rip apart this green Lepus Carnivorus one useless fact at a time.

Download Episode 47 - Jaxxon

Jaxxon was a quick-witted Lepi smuggler from Coachelle Prime. The most rambunctious of his family's thirteen children, he left his homeworld at an early age, after stealing an unprotected freighter. He made his way to Nar Shaddaa, where he began to perform odd jobs, quickly becoming familiar with the important elements of fringe culture.

The Book Was Better Podcast Episode 142: Van Helsing (with guest host Courtney Coulson!)

In this spooky Halloween episode we endure the novelization of ill-fated Hugh Jackman monster mash: Van Helsing! And who better to join me on this bitter trek than fabled monster enthusiast Courtney Coulson? Thrill as Van Helsing consistently fails at things! Be shocked as Van Helsing showcases his complete lack of knowledge! Laugh as Van Helsing repeatedly chokes his friends! This may be the scariest tale of all!

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FPcast for October 26 2015: The Force and the Future!

This week we react to the final Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer, wrap up Back to the Future Day, and review scary movies Goodnight Mommy and The Green Inferno just in time for Halloween! Plus we talk Quiz Night victory, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Guitar Hero Live! All the stuff and all the things!

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StarWTF!? Episode 46: B'omarr Monks

Wow. B'omarr Monks really surprised me. There is so much more to them than those creepy spider droids with jarred brains. The spider droid ISN'T REALLY EVEN the B'omarr Monk! This episode was a lesson learned in weird Star Wars information.

Download Episode 46 - B'omarr Monks'

The B'omarr are the monks who built the massive monastery fortress Jabba the Hutt occupies as his palace. They are spider-droids that carry around a nutrient-globe containing a living, sentient brain. These brains are all that remain of the enlightened monks.

The Book Was Better Episode 141: Dunston Checks In (with guest host Lizzy Unpronounceable!)

This week we take a hilarious look at the novelization of questionable Jason Alexander vs an orangutan (in a hotel) movie: Dunston Checks In! And suffering alongside me is fan favourite guest host Lizzy Unpronounceable! We endeavour to answer all the big questions like: Does Dunston actually check in? And is knocky-trunky the brand new craze that is sweeping a nation?

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FPcast for October 19 2015: Crimson Peak!

This week we review Gothic-romance-with-ghosts Crimson Peak, plus Mistress America, Unindian and Keanu Reeves going the full Nicholas Cage in Knock Knock. And we also talk about a lot of other gubbins like Thor and Hulk being buddies, and vidja gaming! Put this in your head-holes.

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The Book Was Better Episode 140: Aliens (with Jessica McLeod)

It's old skool BWB with original co-host Jessica back in the house! And we follow up on our classic cat-filled Alien episode with Alan Dean Foster's sequel novelization Aliens! The cat came back! 'Nuff said!

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FPcast for October 12th 2015: The Lobster!

This week we review the brilliant satirical black comedy The Lobster, plus talk NYCC news, trailers, and speculate on all sorts of things like: is the world ready for a ginger James Bond? THE TRUTH MAY SHOCK YOU! Or not.

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Scarjo A Go-Go Episode 39: Avengers: Age of Ultron, or, "Making Monsters"

Our Scarlett Johansson podcast returns with a thorough analysis of her return role as Black Widow in Joss Whedon's Avengers: Age of Ultron. I examine her ongoing character arc and address a whole bunch of dopey Internet controversy as we explore the theme of "making monsters". It's good to be back!

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The Book Was Better Episode 139: My Girl (with guest host Emily!)

This week we read the novelization of 90's (set in the 70's) coming-of-age drama: My Girl, the story of young Lord Vada and her pussy friend McCauley Culkin! And helping me navigate through all these pubescent girl problems is brand new guest host Emily! Find out why I give this book a B+++!

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FPcast for October 5th 2015: The End of the World!

This week we review Attack on Titan Part 2: The End of the World, critique DC's Super Hero Girls, chat Thor's new director, Muppets, Natalie Dormer's creepy new film, Lego Dimensions and a whole lot more! Plus, Jacinta sounds a little different today...

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The Book Was Better Episode 138: Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer (with guest host Courtney)

This week we subject our fool selves to the novelization of not-so-fantastic sequel Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer! And joining me is super-powered team member Courtney Coulson as we get to the bottom of what this film is really about. There is plenty of speculation and sixties comic book knowledge along the way - devour it like a hungry cloud!

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