Our mighty festive ADVENTure continues today as we delve deeper into the saurian saturated jungles of Jon Hammond's arrogant excess! What will we see today? Will we get our eye poked out by a sudden triceratops? Or is it going to be all empty cages and a lonely goat?
The only way to find out is to start digging behind...
Door Number 2!...
Yesterday we were treated to the rugged manliness of archeologist/chaos theorist/ladykiller Ian Goldblum. Today it... looks... like... we... got...
Some adventure gear to kit Ian out for the inevitable trials ahead! First up we have Indiana Jones' actual hat! (Remember that
Crystal Skull shows us that Indy was old in the 1950's, so it stands to reason that he was dead in the 1990's when John Hammond filled a theme park filled with ravenous, evil dinosaurs. His legendary hat probably "belongs in a museum" but the sassy Ian Goldblum does not give a shit about things like that. He has clearly stolen the hat in the hopes that the DNA trapped in Indiana Jones' stale sweat will leak into his own raven locks and imbue him with special adventuring powers. The binoculars are for watching girls shower.
Actually it's a cruel irony that Playmobil people lack elbows and Ian will never actually be able to raise the binoculars to his beady eyes. Luckily he is blessed with a vivid and twisted imagination.
Stay tuned, because I'll be opening up the Lego Star Wars calendar very soon!
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