Ever since I was a young child, I've thought it would be amazing to be able to travel back and forth in time! Who wouldn't want to go back into the murky past...see the Beatles live in Hamburg...watch the Gettysburg address...go to Woodstock! Oh and maybe visit Nazi Germany and kick Hitler in the head.
For that matter, who wouldn't want to know what the year 3000 might look like? Will the world finally be at peace? When is the next Ice Age? Will the Toronto Maple Leafs ever win the Stanley Cup? (2017 baby!)
So without further ado, (and after the JUMP!) here are my top 3 methods of Time Travel! Just please, try not to negate all existence....
1. The Time Bubble:
Made popular by the Terminator and (to a lesser extent) the Legion of Super Heroes, the Time Bubble is an extremely efficient and cool way to travel through time. If you want to make an entrance, this is the method of travel for you! You can arrive in your destination year in a perfect globe of electric discharge, conveniently disintegrating anything that happens to occupy the space you now claim!
There are only two downsides to this method. First, only organic material can be sent though time...so not only do you arrive in a spectacular and destructive light-show, you also arrive...IN THE NUDE! Second, and perhaps more disturbingly...once you have arrived in your destination year, you will have to recreate the time bubble generating machine if you want to leave again (and good luck with THAT!). That's right...the Time Bubble is a one-way trip!
Now I believe that the Legion of Super Heroes managed to generate Time Bubbles without these unfortunate drawbacks, but please...how realistic is that? If Skynet had to live with all the one-way nudity, I'm pretty sure we will, too.
2. Breaking the Time Barrier with Speed:
Both Superman and the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise have discovered that, in the most dire circumstances, it IS possible to go fast enough to literally fly backwards in time! This amazing and dangerous feat takes either a massive warp-powered starship and a large sun to slingshot around, (using the gravity well of said sun to increase your speed until you rip the fabric of space and time itself) OR the ability to be both incredibly SUPER and incredibly UPSET because Lois Lane just got swallowed up in a Lex Luthor-generated earthquake!
Superman makes it look easy, but it takes Kirk and Spock a massive amount of math and some excellent timing. Now if only they had also investigated 80's fashion....
Incidentally, the Star Trek guys have a much simpler option to travel in time that they completely forgot about. There's an abandoned planet with a time portal just sitting around! It's called the Guardian of Forever and can instantly transport you to ANY MOMENT in time and space! OF course, they don't EVER want to use it...cause where's the fun in that??
3. The DeLorean!
OF COURSE we all know that if you really want to travel around in time in comfort and style, the absolute BEST way to do it is via DeLorean!
You KNOW it's true. Get the upgraded model with both Flight Capabilities (cut down on pesky fender-benders!) and the patented Mr. Fusion fusion reactor and you can power your trip with simple household waste products...banana peels and tuna fish cans and whatnot. Awesome!
Yeah, whether you're a simple 80's kid with a puffy vest OR a scatterbrained mad scientist, the DeLorean is for YOU! Act now, operators are standing by!
"So take me away, I don't mind...But you better promise me I'll be back in time...."
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