Oh Goddamit, I'm Just Going to Spoil Who the Secret Villain is in the Avengers

There is so much crazy speculating on who the secret villain is in Joss Whedon's upcoming Avengers movie, which surprises me, because I'm sure it was leaked early last year, and everything that keeps coming out just seems to support that. Yet nobody remembers! We're hearing Skrulls, Kree, Red Skull, Namor... all sorts of craziness, but people, that's not it!

Then, recently, Super Hero Hype showed some Lego images which gave us a little bit of a glimpse at the villain's foot soldiers, and people still aren't getting it.

Sigh... So join me after the jump and I will spoil who it is.

Clone Wars Recap S4 E21: Brothers! The Return of Darth Maul!

Clone Wars fans have been anticipating this for over a year now, and this week, finally, the short-lived severed "star" of The Phantom Menace - Darth Maul - emerges from ten years of seclusion to scare the everliving shit out of your kids. And I'm not exaggerating. We all figured it would badass, but we didn't realise it would be a creepy fever dream into the mouth of madness. 

If you've seen shiny-crotched robot leg Maul and think you know how this is all going to pan out, then guess again. The Clone Wars miraculously team managed to keep a major secret about Darth Maul's mysterious bottom half. Join me after the jump and I'll tell you what it is...

Domesticated Badness: Varmint Town

I'm not sure what I find most scary.

What looks like clunky and disappointing game-play mechanics, the fact that I think that the Nemesis that is hulking and skulking about in this demo of the Multiplayer 'Nemesis Mode' in the upcoming Resident Evil: Raccoon City game looks more lost and confused than terrifying, the fact that as hard as I try to care about ANYTHING related to Resident Evil from Capcom, one of those ALWAYS-ON dealies that used to be THE most beloved things in the universe to me (but ever since they took the franchise to extremely weird places in ZERO they have kinda lost me)...

...OR...

...the fact that it is taking longer and longer to scroll down when I have to enter my FUGGIN' BIRTH YEAR when I go to these damn videos on any of the game sites.



It's getting to be downright embarrassing...

OUT.

Thank GIF It's Friday

Not usually my place, but it's appropriate for the theme this month. I think.

MarchMania: The Art Of Wrestling

Wrestling has always been about the iconic characters for me. I grew up in the 1980's with such colorful, over-the-top WWF personalities as Brutus The Barber Beefcake, Jake The Snake Roberts and Captain Lou Albano. The weirder the character, the more I liked them.

In celebration of MarchMania, I've gathered some of my favorite classic wrestling inspired artwork. 

Much more after the jump (including a semi-NSFW one all the way at the bottom).

The Readthrough of Time: The Eye of the World

So the first book of the Grand Readthrough is done and gone. I can't really make this a traditional review, because, hey, what's the point? The book is 20+ years old, it has a lasting impact on the fantasy landscape, and anything of great importance about this book has really already been said. I can't add anything to that. What I envision with this is more a random hit of thoughts from someone who's read dozens, perhaps hundreds, of books influenced by it without having read this previously. It puts me at a weird advantage and disadvantage as a result - I can see some clear parallels to more current fiction, and even places where those who have come after Robert Jordan and The Wheel of Time are, frankly, doing it better.

So anyway, Book One: The Eye of the World. Our initial players are established, some problems detailed, and a lot of interesting stuff goes on. Some random scattershot thoughts beyond the jump, much of it spoilery if you're not caught up, as well as a surprise Fruitless Pursuits exclusive:

Clone YMCA: Why Star Wars Kinect is Creatively Bankrupt.

I love Star Wars. I'm the biggest Star Wars apologist. But I cannot possibly apologise for this. New gameplay footage of next month's Star Wars Kinect is gut-wrenchingly awful. In fact, I'm sorry to say that it's probably the first Star Wars endeavour in many, many years that I've felt actively opposed to (well... this and Hyperspace Hoopla). From pretending to podrace with your arms to awkwardly mimicking clone troopers dancing and singing to YMCA, this collection of mini-games (is that what this thing is?) looks like a massive disappointment. And that sucks as fan, because there are already a million people out there lining up to take cheap shots at Star Wars and this game is bound to give them plenty of ammunition.

Watch the clip for yourself if you dare:

Video via Topless Robot.

So whose fault is it? Well Lucasarts needs to take some flak for allowing it to happen, but I can't help feeling that the real villain here is the Kinect itself.

Join me after the jump to find out how many kittens Microsoft's Kinect makes me want to shit.

Celebrity Apprentice Recaps: Episode Three!

Only three episodes in and any pretense that this year’s tasks will be even tangentially related to business has eroded. I’m not entirely sure exactly what skills Trump is looking for in his “apprentice”, but it’s almost like the celebrity contestants have a contract that stipulates that tasks will not involve mathematics, economics or accounting. Instead Trump is giving them mindless creative busy work, akin to finger-painting or making macaroni necklaces.

Last week they dressed up as knights and bashed each other with swords in front of mildly enthusiastic diners. What ridiculous ruse will pass as a task this week? Join me after the jump to find out!

Hulk Hogan's Rock N' Wrestling Runnin' Wild

During the mid-1980’s, two major trends collided: professional wrestling and Saturday morning cartoons. As the World Wrestling Federation (now WWE) made its move to become the premiere name in wrestling, Hulk Hogan was already a household name, through his cameo in Rocky III as Thunderlips, and his victory over Rowdy Roddy Piper in the first WrestleMania.

Capitalizing on this success is the 1985-87 cartoon Hulk Hogan’s Rock N’ Wrestling. This cartoon takes place in an alternate universe where half the WWF’s stable lives in the same town and get into hijinks. Even the theme song is different from the more familiar “Real American” which Hulk would later enter the ring to, and was remade by composer/producer Jim Steinman into the Bonnie Tyler song “Ravishing”.

What's Out? 7th of March 2012

New Comics Day equals New Comics Release List Day! What can you get? Let me show you:

Nerd History: The Trials and Tribulations of Sgt. Slaughter

I'm 30 years old today, so when I was growing up, my pro-wrestling "phase," as it were, was in the very late 1980s into the early 1990s. I remember being a big fan of the Bushwhackers and the Ultimate Steroid Warrior (more on him later this month), but, living outside of Worcester, Massachusetts, this meant that I could see the WWF pretty much every time it came through the area. I got to see a few tapings, any number of weird occurances, and the weirdest thing that I didn't realize was weird at the time - the return of Sgt. Slaughter to the WWF. I was at the old Boston Garden during the height of the bizarre Gulf War-era storyline of Slaughter when he feuded with Hulk Hogan. While there are some significantly bizarre stories to exist in the weird world of professional wrestling, this is one of the few cultural touchstones that bled over into the "real world," as it were, and continued to have repercussions.

The Book Was Better Episode 13 TEASER!

Once again Luke and Jessica give you the bad news: you have to watch an awful film this week so you can feel their pain. Or you can just watch the trailer. But there will be a quiz at the end of the semester.

Tuesday Bounty! Glorious Bounty is Action-Packed!

WHAA!? Edward J. Grug and my ongoing sci-fi/humour comic Glorious Bounty has ACTION!? I thought it was all just talking about stuff! But noooooooo - this new page has so much action in it that you're going to think it was drawn by Jim Lee and written by Geoff Johns! That's a lot of action!

When we last left the Bounty crew, Deevis was showing off in his temporary robot body and was about to launch his mighty murder missile at a target who is way out of their league. It looked like it was going to end in tears. Will it end it tears? Why don't you take the two seconds to read it and find out!

Click to embiggen or visit the official site.

And as I always say, it's never too late to man up and start reading Glorious Bounty. So if you're a Bounty virgin, take my hand and I'll lead you back to Chapter One where I will be very, very gentle...

Simpsons Game of thrones couch gag

Game of thrones gets referenced in the latest Simpsons couch gag

Waiting for Game of thrones is killing me!! I could read the books I guess but I really like the tv series and I love not knowing what's going to happen. This is a big problem I have with the Walking Dead

Kickstart the Week: Interview With The Designers of Velociraptor! Cannibalism!

There's a new board game tearing up the Kickstarter charts... Velociraptor! Cannibalism!, and we've interviewed the designers!

Velociraptor! Cannibalism! is a card game of survival, mutation, and the occasional volcano. Based on a crude understanding of natural selection,Velocipator! Cannibalism! puts you in the role of a young, eager and bright eyed Raptor as they must eat delicious, adorable prey, survive environmental disaster, mutate and steal the body parts of other Raptors.

Click below to visit and pledge to help Velociraptor! Cannibalism! on Kickstarter!!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/boardraptorgames/velociraptor-cannibalism

The designers have taken a different approach than most game projects and they are looking for funding to create the art needed to develop the game. All pledges will receive a print and play copy of the game, and some of the higher pledges will receive a limited physical copy. The project is currently at $2,534 (63% of it's $4,000 goal) and has 46 days left.

Click through the jump for an interview with the entire team behind this game for more information on the game, their plans for the future, and their Kickstarter experience.

Introducing "MarchMania"

Fruitless Pursuits is proud to present MarchMania, a month-long tribute to professional wrestling’s connections to popular culture.

Pro wrestling’s “golden era” of the 1980’s introduced a lot of children to the spectacle of the squared circle, and muscular, huge, or just plain overweight men in Spandex were every bit our heroes as athletes, firefighters and Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. And now that we children who said our prayers and took our vitamins are grown adults, we can look back fondly of WWF, NWA and WCW wrestling and still smile, and maybe laugh.

Clone Wars Recap S4 E20: Bounty!

As we edge ever closer to next week's long-anticipated return of short-lived, severed scary-clown Darth Maul, this week's Clone Wars continues to follow the wacky misadventures of scorned Sith witch Asajj Ventriss. This week she teams up with Boba Fett, Bossk and - would you believe - bandaged, loafer-wearing deadweight Dengar, now inexplicably voiced by Simon Pegg!

Asajj is rapidly becoming the breakout character of the entire series so if you miss this one you should be publicly shamed. And probably shaved.

TEH BOYZ R BACK IN TOWN BOYZ R BACK IN TOWN YEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
(That's Boba's fashion-forward new helmet on the right).

Join me after the jump to find out why this episode rocked not one, but both of my socks...