They are short-lived Jedi seductress Aayla Secura, novel-dwelling evil space-mokey Nom Anor, the Force Unleashed's secret, secret apprentice Starkiller, and The Old Republic's Boba-with-boobs Shae Vizla!
And if you're real good I'll tell you all about them... after the jump!
This might be a motley collection of marginalised miscreants, but it's this sort of oddball variety that truly gets me excited about collecting again. Who needs a fifteenth Chewbacca, or thirty-fifth Vader? I want an obscure expanded universe character that only eighty other people know about! And this time around, I may have gotten my wish!
But first let's spend some quality time with our one film character, the blue-skinned, midriff-baring Twi'lek Jedi sex-tentacle-kitten with the dulled force senses and poor peripheral vision. Yeah, I'm talking about Aayla Secura...
It's not like we haven't had Aayla figures before, but they were from the much maligned Attack of the Clones line where figures were pre-posed and stifled with unwieldy action features. You know, "for the kids". OUTRAGEOUS! Toys aren't for kids any more. That's why we invented Call of Duty! The first Aayla that I bought has legs locked in a hideous spread-eagle. Not at all like the sexy spread-eagle that you'll often encounter on the Internet.
Let's free her from her bubble...
Wait a minute! Isn't this a little coy and covered-up for a Twi'lek? A race that is essentially nature's pole-dancers? I admire that Hasbro are persevering with the cloth cloaks in an attempt to add realism (some of the old plastic coats do like the character is encased in a delicious chocolate shell) but this isn't working too well for me either. Plus it's not really Aayla's style. Let's see what's under there...
Now that's more like it! No pun intended but this is actually a really nicely sculpted figure. I dig her face sculpt and she has all the articulation you could possibly hope for in a figure of this scale. There's even a ball joint under her boobs which you can't see in these pictures but allows her to lean forward or back in a realistic way. She's very posable...
Perhaps ever super posable...
One hand is sculpted to grip her lightsaber and the other is either a two-fingered force gesture or something far more sensual sinister. Why don't I utilise that "strikethrough" function more often? It's a barrel of shit laughs.
Aayla is packaged with her ignited lightsaber as well as an unlit hilt which clips onto her belt. This is far superior to previous versions and I'm really pleased I picked her up. This one is a win. Hooray.
So now onto something far less appealing...
Nom Anor is a Lord Skeletor wannabe space-monkey who appears in a bunch of novels that take place years after Return of the Jedi. I think that what basically happens is that now Vader is dead a whole bunch of evil space-monkeys try to take over the galaxy and somehow inexplicably brainwash hardcore Star Wars "fans" into thinking that this is a good idea. I bought him for the novelty but truthfully I have no real idea of what I'm looking at here. Some kind of eyesore...
It's an even bigger cloth cloak problem than last time! This monstrosity won't fit over him at all due to the massive spiky protrusions that sprout all over his body. There's a hole in the back of the cape and the intention is that you remove his back spikes and re-insert them over the cloak but they won't stay in. And even if they did the hood is so ridonkulously huge that it would completely cover his head and make him look like a demented scarecrow. It's going straight in the box of forgotten accessories. I've forgotten about it already. Who posted the above picture? Is this some sort of prank? I've never seen it before in my life!
This is marginally better...
He's still a pretty ugly space-monkey but for me his biggest crime of all is that he doesn't look remotely like he belongs in the Star Wars universe. It's like he's from another line entirely. Just not a fan of this one. He's articulated reasonably well but the bulkiness of his body kind of works against him. And look at this ridiculous accessory...
It's got an alien face on the end for impromptu puppet shows. A sure way to distract the enemy.
Moving on, here's a character that I do like, Starkiller from the Force Unleashed!
We've had Starkiller figures before but none of them actually looked like Actor Sam Witwer (Witwicky), so without a doubt this is the best version yet...
His twin lightsabers are an unusual blue-grey this time, and he's also packaged with unlit hilts that can be attached to his belt. But there's far more than that. This guy has more costume accessories than your average Barbie. All the parts are included to create an alternate version of his costume...
If you couldn't spot-the-difference, he's now wearing a new chestplate, forearm armour, and a dazzling loin cloth. Over his loin area. The chestplate is a nice design and a good idea in theory but it really diminishes his neck and makes him look kind of squished...
It's a real shame because it was a brilliant idea and a great value add, but I'll probably end up displaying him in the basic costume that he is wearing in the blister. Good try though, Hasbro. High fivez.
And finally, my favourite of this batch. The Old Republic's female bounty hunting dynamo, Shae Vizla...
Cool card art, right? Shame I have to break her out of there...
I've heard the less-than-kind refer to her as "mannish" but I actually think it's quite refreshing that's she's not all made-up to look pretty. She's grim and determined and ready to kill your face in. And above all I really love her armour. Especially how asymmetrical the paint job is and the choice of palette.
She's not short on accessories either. She has twin pistols to go all Jango Fett on your unsuspecting ass...
And she's got a great helmet, recognisable as a bounty hunter but not to derivative of the Mandalorian design...
But it doesn't end there... HOLY SHIT FLAMETHROWERZ!!!
Just like Aayla Secura she has a ball-joint just below the chestplate and this allows her to lean back so that she can balance the weight of the heavy flame pieces. It's a great design. Look at how awesome this is! I can't stop taking pictures of her...
And that's probably how I'll display her, grim face with visible helmet tucked under her mighty arm...
This is easily my favourite new Star Wars figure of the year so far and a triumph for Hasbro. If they could keep up with this kind of quality and ensure a host of fresh characters then I'd be far more excited again. Although, to be fair, SDCC showed us that there are SEVEN new ewoks coming and that has me WAY amped.
I'm picking and choosing a lot more these days, and these things are near impossible to find, but when Hasbro gets it right I love them to death. Worth a look if you're lucky enough to catch them.
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