OMFG the O.M.F.G. Figures Arrived (A Week or So Ago)

Back in the heady days of August 2011. when we were all so young and attractive with our pretty heads full of idiotic ideals, I posted about an amazing Kickstarter project by October Toys to produce O.M.F.G. a homage to M.U.S.C.L.E. - the omnipresent flesh-coloured miniature wrestling figures of our youth.

Well now they're actually here (okay they were actually here about a week or so ago) but I've got 'em, and I've got pictures to prove it! And what's more, I'm going to force you to look at them!

Join me after the jump where I completely destroy their value by ripping them out of the sanctity of their packaging and exposing them to a cruel world!

But first let's look at the back of the package. October Toys were kind enough to also send a bounty of stickers and a mini poster but of course I forgot to photograph those. I'm goddamn losing my mind.

Here are the characters we can expect to unleash...

See, this is where they're a lot better than M.U.S.C.L.E because, as far as I know, the M.U.S.C.L.E. figures never had official names. So we had to call them made up names like Trigonometry Face and Turtle Tits. But October Toys conveniently skips the middle man and assaults us with a figure called Phantom Shithouse. I don't care what it is, I will buy anything that you give a name like "Phantom Shithouse". In fact I'm going to see Phantom Shithouse in 3D on Sunday.

But let's take a closer look at these wonderfully sculpted figures. Starting with Multiskull by Charles Marsh.

This figure just goes to show how much better things are since the eighties. Skeletor is a pretty iconic villain but he had only one skull and it was sadly in the regular place. Multiskull on the other hand has two thousand individually sculpted skulls, including skull hands, skull feet, and a pair of rock hard testiskulls. If you were to open up each skull you would find it filled with tiny little skulls. This is the uber skeleton. Respect him.

Now how about that Phantom Shithouse by Kyle Thye and Ralph Niese...

Now I don't know the real story here, but I'm assuming that this was a once well-loved shithouse that was prematurely demolished - without being flushed. Now a Phantom Shithouse it roams the countryside with unfinished business sloshing around in its bowl. Who will flush it? Nobody! Because Phantom Shithouses are terrifying.

King Castor is next and it was sculpted by Dominic Campisi. His stage name is the Evil Earwig. Seriously go and see him perform.

What did Castle Greyskull do in the eighties? Nothing! It just sat there with its belly of poorly defined secrets. What does King Castor do? Kick your ass! This is a pretty sweet figure, although it's awfully uncomfortable when he extends his drawbridge.

Then it's Crawdad Kid by Daniel Yu...

I guess an oriental fisherman must have caught a crawfish and slipped something in its shell. POW! Nine months later and there's a Crawdad kid to deal with. Everybody's a little freaked out. Let's assume his hilarious catchphrase is, "WHO'S YOUR CRAWDADDY!" That never gets old.

And lastly it's the oddly named Stroll. He was carved out of an actual potato by John "Spanky" Stokes and George Gaspar...

I'm not too sure what this guy is. But here's a picture of his butt, in case you were curious:

And that, my friends, is the first wave, and I sincerely hope that there's a lot more to come.

In closing I also want to note that this was one of the first Kickstarter projects I backed, and it was a really positive experience. The communication was excellent and we got regular updates as the figures were being made. I'm really happy with the process and I wish October Toys every success in the future. I just hope they don't get too damn successful because then I'm going to feel like a total dipshit for opening and devaluing this figures.

Shit!

You can still buy these, by the way! Get yourself to their online shop! Except on the store they renamed him "Phantom Outhouse". Ha ha! Whatta buncha pussies!