Blizzard throws us a bone via the Diablo 3 Skill Calculator

According to who you talk to, Diablo 3 is either a.) never coming out or b.) coming it in ten years, and I'll admit I've stopped holding my breath waiting for the follow up to 2000's Diablo 2 (though there was ONLY four years between that and the first Diablo!), but Blizzard are still actively trying to convince us that yes, it actually is coming, and please don't give up on them, please.

Gears 3 does not appear to be the only highly anticipated pair of boombox tits in the industry. 

More beyond the break:

Montage of Sexual Innuendo in Children's Cartoons!

This is quite fun! Only the other week I was talking about how, on the new Thundercats, Cheetara was pressed up against Lion-O trying to get "his sword to work". Here's a collection of such smutty innuendo peppered through some otherwise innocent mainstream cartoons. Some of them are a bit of a stretch, but hang in there for some doozies. "Fingerprints" anyone?

Via: I Heart Chaos.

Clone Wars Recap S4 E01-02 : Water War & Gungan Attack.

(I promise this is the last bit of Star Wars for a little while!) Normally, I'd post a Thundercats Thunder-recap on the weekend, but that show has taken a hiatus for a few weeks, partly in order to accommodate the return of The Clone Wars, and hopefully so that they can think of something for Tigra to do.

The Clone Wars season four begins with a double-episode, incorporating Water War and Gungan Attack. It's very appropriate that in this weekend of Star Wars over-saturation that our heroes are seen battling at the bottom of the sea. These episodes also mark the animated debut of my favourite, all-inspiring, trap-detecting, space lobster admiral Ackbar (although he's but a captain here) who will always be proof that anybody can achieve anything. Yes. A lobster became and admiral in space, folks. Get off your couch and accomplish your dreams!

I'm a big fan of The Clone Wars and have enjoyed seeing the series mature and develop over time. The show is constantly stretching the boundaries of what can be done in animated television, especially visually, and there's just nothing else out there that can hold a candle (lightsaber?) to it in that regard. How did these new episodes hold up? Join me after the jump!

Extra Sequential Podcast!

If you weren't sick enough of my voice this week on The C-List Podcast, or The Book Was Better, then why not listen to my guest appearance on the brilliant Australian comics podcast Extra Sequential! And speaking of over-saturation, yes, you guessed it! We're talking about all things Star Wars! Here's the show notes straight from the site:

Kris is frozen in Carbonite this week, so Mladen is joined by Luke Milton, Perth comic artist/photographer and host of the “C-List” and “The Book Was Better” podcasts, to discuss Star Wars! The mythic stature vs the actual quality of the films, blu-ray deleted scenes and changes, the original and prequel trilogies, and the expanded universe and Star Wars Comics. Also: Lando Calrissian, Yaddle, and an awkward story about meeting Jake Lloyd. Your ears can’t repel podcasting of this magnitude!

Mladen and Kris do an excellent job week after week so please journey to Extra Sequential to download their incredible 58th episode!  (Or follow them on itunes!).

SBS Pop Asia: Bringing awesome music to the gwai lo masses

While I'm rarely awake before 10am noon on Sundays I was up a little bit earlier than usual last weekend and was rewarded with SBS Pop Asia (8.30am-10.30am, SBS1). Now that Channel 10 has killed off Video Hits there was really nowhere for people to go for a hit of pure, shameless, pop music. UNTIL NOW.

A year or so ago I stumbled across a video by a band called 'Super Junior', a Korean boy band made up of 13 members. I thought it was the greatest thing I'd ever seen! There were choreographed dance routines, and even though I couldn't understand a word they were singing, the songs were so damn catchy I couldn't help singing along. Terribly. Check this out:


Okay, so technically, that's 'Super Junior M', the offshoot group where the members sing in Mandarin, but it's basically the same thing. Basically.

Anyway, I pretty much thought Super Junior was the pinnacle of all that Asian pop had to offer until I watched SBS Pop Asia. Read on to find out more.

Return of the EWOK?

Seeing as it has become Unofficial Star Wars Day on Fruitless Pursuits, I thought I'd share a little nugget of history that I stumbled across. It is a scene from an 'ultra rare' short film called Return of the Ewok, which according to IMDB is just about Warwick Davis dressing up as an ewok and wandering around trying to find other ewoks. Sounds...wonderful.

Harrison Ford is surly, Mark Hamill is just happy to be there, and Carrie Fisher...well, you've heard of side-boob, right? Get ready for side-butt. How this only has 149 000 views when Justin Bieber has 623 million hits on his 'Baby' video I will never understand. History, people! Surly Fordy HISTORY!

Project Runway Recaps: S09 E08

It's that time of the week when I walk you through the latest episode of Project Runway! Strap yourself in for FUN!

Thank Gif it's Friday!

Today is a worldwide Star Wars celebration which has even managed to infiltrate our regularly scheduled TGIF! I think this is why the ewoks now have eyelids:

The Long Lost Star Wars Scout Walker Command Tower

Since today is basically Star Wars day (Star Wars Blu-ray & The Padawan Menace release, Clone Wars premiere) I wanted to squeeze in one more Star Wars related post. It's a quick one though because I'm writing this during the commercial breaks of the epic underwater battle in The Clone Wars.

So, this is probably the hardest Star Wars related piece of merchandise to track down. I never knew about it until I was in a gift shop at a Cracker Barrel in Massachusetts. They have gifty books for each year to give people for their birthdays. In the back of one (I guess 1983, which isn't my birth year anyway) was an ad for the Scout Walker Command Tower with Speeder Bike Ride. I fell in love and lost my appetite because I knew that it's impossible that any of these still exist.

If anyone can track one of these down, I want NEED it for my children.

Stars (Including A Star Wars Star) Act Out Star Wars Scenes for Cancer!

Bill Hader as a Tauntaun. Ken Jeong as Vader. Emma Stone as Leia AND Luke.

It's a really cool video.. and for some reason feels a little weird to see all these celebrities act out Star Wars scenes. Although Star Wars is one of the biggest film series ever, it still feels very out of place in the real world. Maybe I'm just putting on my geek defense.

Animated Taiwanese News Attempts to Explain Star Wars Blu-Ray Nerd Outrage & Leaked Scarlett Johansson Nudes.

You have to love Taiwan's Next Media Animation TV! Not only do they have their finger on the pulse of all the breaking news stories, they present the facts in a very unique way. I 100% believe that this is EXACTLY how these events happened!

First up is their explanation of the nerd rage that broke out over the changes made to the Star Wars Blu-rays (it's gotten quiet on that front  - hopefully everyone's now actually enjoying them). Watch this clip as a sobering reminder of what went down. Take note of how the Taiwanese only have a vague idea of what George Lucas looks like:

I was very surprised to notice that they also covered this week's other huge story, the leaked Scarlett Johansson nude photos. Now I was going to be too much of a gentleman to cover this gross invasion of Scarlett's privacy, but the folks at NMA TV aren't afraid to expose it as the cowardly criminal act is was.

Check it out after the jump!

INTERVIEW: Michael Price, Writer of Lego Star Wars: The Padawan Menace.

This was a first for us! I was lucky enough to have a chat with Michael Price, writer of the brilliant and completely unexpected animated special Lego Star Wars: The Padawan Menace. Michael is probably best known for his work as a long-time writer of The Simpsons, and he has managed to successfully infuse the Star Wars saga with the same chaotic energy and humour. It was a breath of fresh air that reminded us all how much fun Star Wars can be once we learn to relax.

This is quite an in-depth look at what went into the show, and Michael was very gracious with not just his time, but the insights he was willing to share. It's a long interview, but his responses are funny and fascinating. I mean, come on! He's written for two of the universe's biggest franchises Star Wars and The Simpsons! You need to read everything he says and steal all his secrets!

In your frenzy for the Blu-rays, please don't forget that The Padawan Menace is also being released today on Blu-Ray and DVD (and on the 21st for our Australian readers). If you're yet to see it, then you won't want to miss it. And if you're already a fan, then join us after the jump to find out how it all came about!

Friday Night Movie Review 5!

It's that time again, and this week the Fruitless Pursuits staff have been recklessly watching films like they've got something to prove! I'm astounded they got anything else done! Behold this dripping cornucopia of celluloid as they review some of the hottest new releases like:

Oh. Okay... So maybe not so new. (1936?!). But still! You would be mad not to join us after the jump and read thoughtful mini-reviews of some forgotten treasures that you may have missed!

DC Reboot Review: Green Lantern, Red Lanterns, Batman and Robin, Batwoman, Suicide Squade, Frankenstein, Deathstroke!

It's been a week of big new releases! Star Wars hit Blu-ray, seeing Scarlett Johansson's boob for the first time was like catching a rare Pokemon, and DC releases another wave of brand new issue ones!

Rather then flood the site with separate reviews like I did last week, I've decided to mash my week of comic reading together in one epic post! Mike has already offered his thoughts on some of these, but it looks like we didn't pick up the exact same books, and we don't always share the same opinions. The books I was entranced into picking up this time were: Green Lantern #1, Red Lanterns #1, Batman and Robin #1, Batwoman #1, Suicide Squad #1, Frankenstein Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #1 and Deathstroke #1.

And I downloaded them all on the iPad for $2.99 each, which wasn't too bad. To find out what worked and what left me cold, join me, as always, after the jump!

Warwick Davis in Life's Too Short (Plus An Idiot Abroad 2 Preview)

Little tidbits have been coming out about this show over the past few months and I've been waiting very patiently. We know that Warwick Davis plays himself in a scripted series about the frustrations he faces on a daily basis. We know it's written and directed by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant and coming out on BBC2 this fall and HBO in 2012.. and that's about all we know so far.

Finally, a video has been released showing actual scenes from the show. Well.. a tiny bit of a scene.

The DCnU Train Keeps Right On Rollin'

More than one of us here at Fruitless Pursuits are comic book fans, and while the others may be better writers than I...unless one of them posts while I'm typing, I got here first this week! Woot!

Reviews are difficult for me to write. One of my defining principles is that "everything is somebody's favorite", so I hate to say bad things about anything. People worked hard to make it, and my taste isn't necessarily yours, so what I think is good or bad may not be the same for you.

Watch me ramble about Batman and find a way to mention Atomic Robo after the jump...
SPOILERS AHOY!!

New Muppet Parody Trailer!

Another great Muppet parody trailer for the upcoming film! This time of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. (Might help to watch that trailer first, although I am just excited anytime I see Muppet footage!)

Only 67 more days till the movie is out!

Kevin Smith - RED STATE

I LOVE Kevin Smith.  I became a huge fan instantly upon seeing his fourth movie, "Dogma" in theatres back in 1999 and I've never looked back.  All of his movies mean something to me and I listen to his many podcasts on an almost daily basis.  So when I say that I was looking forward to his latest feature, "Red State" you understand the context.  Kevin Smith is something of a hero and a role model for me and I'm always tremendously excited to see what he's planning next.  So on Labour Day weekend, when "Red State" became available to the world through Video-On-Demand I couldn't wait to finally check it out (two nights in a row!). What did I think?  Find out after the jump...

D&D, Day by Day - Axe Beak

Welcome back to D&D Day by Day...over 2 weeks later. It's an ongoing theme, but my timing is off. Please don't hold it against me.

So are you ready for the fiercest, most dangerous monsters from all time that have spanned every Tome of dangerous monsterous lore ever recreated by man? Willing to go to the bowels of the Underdark to learn about some of these menacing monstrocities? Then get ready to behold, the fiercest of the bunch - THE AXE BEAK!!!

Wait, what?

Learn more of its origin and FP Contributor interpretations after the break

Recap: America's Next Top Model Season 17, Episode 1

That's right bitches, ANTM is back for yet another season of flogging a dead yet stylish horse! Join me for some hastily scribbled drawings as I try to explain what the fuck just happened!

X-Men First Class Meets Mulan!

I loved X-Men: First Class! It was a very pleasant surprise thanks to some inventive writing, sharp directing, and some killer performances. It was my favourite superhero movie this year, by a long shot, and far more badass than I think people thought it deserved to be.

But if you want to truly understand how important a part the music plays in a film, then check out these sequences from XFC, brilliantly and inspiringly cut to a song from Disney's Mulan. It certainly makes you appreciate how sometimes one little thing can actually change everything...

Via: The Mary Sue.

The C-List Podcast! Episode 15: Alien Rodeo Pug Shakers!

(Mike) Taylor and I have churned out another bronze-medal winning episode of our podcast The C-List. If you didn't already know, that's the one we're we talk about minor characters from major movies. Yes, we discuss, dissect and debate the "lost heroes" that you don't really give a crap about! Mostly though, we just make silly noises. Here are the notes for the new show:

This episode we do our best to "prevent alien scariness" by discussing Paul Dano's portrayal as Indiana Jones' son Percy Dollarhyde in sci-fi/western mash-up Cowboys and Aliens, as well as the diminutive Frank the Pug from the original Men in Black. During this ridiculous discussion we manage to: talk like fancy lads, swear like champions, solve the world's problems, get jiggy with it, and perform another lame re-enactment. And if you make it to the end, there's a wiggada wiggada wild wild rap! 

Miss this one and you'll be "alienated" by all your friends. AW HELL NAW! And don't forget to review us on itunes!

DOWNLOAD IT HERE AT THE OFFICIAL SITE!

Hosts: Mike and Luke
Run Time: 54:18
Original Music by The Data Parade, (C)Rap by Luke

The "hilarious" Frank the Pug.

8-Bit Banter - Gunstar Heroes!

Welcome back to WedNESday, gang. But wait! Gasp! Gunstar Heroes isn't for the legendary Nintendo Entertainment System, you say. You may be thinking, "George, you don't know what WedNESday is all about!" Well, you may be right... but the Gunstar Heroes series does migrate to the Nintendo handheld market eventually, so all's not lost!

Enough banter, time for banter. Gunstar Heroes is a high speed run-n-gun platformer. Anyone who recalls this game can back me up when I say, it's nearly impossible to keep up with. With super detailed, fast parallax scrolling backgrounds, motion feels even faster!

Boards and Beers - Elder Sign

Insanity! Madness! Woe and despair! All things that happen if you try to read an instruction manual from FFG and expect to play the game in the same night. That might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it certainly seems to be true. The first time I tried to play Arkham Horror I sat down with the rules a full three hours before we sat down to play and started going through them, and we still had difficulties in understanding what we just read. In all fairness, that was a while ago, we started late at night, and there was much drinking to be had,  but not when reading over the rules mind you. Since then, AH has been a great game to play, but it rarely makes it to the table due to the sheer time commitment it takes to actually play the damn thing. However, FFG has recently release a game that is heavily similar in theme and plays in about a 1/5th of the time.

Pixel Lincoln: The origin of Pixel Lincoln

This isn't quite NES, but it's a game I'm working on that's super-inspired by NES, so I thought I'd add it into our WedNESdays. Hope you enjoy it!

Originally posted at http://www.islandofficials.com. For more developer blogs on Pixel Lincoln and other games in-progress, visit http://www.islandofficials.com.

I've been working on Pixel Lincoln in various forms for a few years now. Right now, it's a side-scrolling action/adventure game that's in development for the Nintendo DS by Island Officials. But a few years ago, things were very different.

Just A Reminder: Spell Check Is Your Friend!

Typos are a way of life...especially for those of us that do most of our "living" online. The internet is full of examples; everything from "teh", which has become so common as to almost become accepted as its own word, to overzealous auto-corrects that change perfectly innocent conversations into something much more hilarious...and both the hilarity and sadness will only increase as the human race continues to spiral the drain of stupid.

It is, however, rare that a typo can change the tenor of an entire novel. Rarer still when it does so in such a spectacular and hilarious fashion. Ladies and gentlemen, we have found the unicron of typos.

The romance novel "Baby, I'm Yours", by author Susan Andersen, was recently published to e-book format. As you can probably guess by now, it was not actually published as its writer had fully intended it. On page 293, seemingly in the midst of a tender love scene, was supposed to be the following passage:

He stiffened for a moment but then she felt his muscles loosen as he shifted on the ground.

But much like Ralphie in A Christmas Story, "shifted" is not what was actually written. It did, in fact, read:

He stiffened for a moment but then she felt his muscles loosen as he shitted on the ground.

I felt it was important to make you all aware of this, as it 1) fills my weekly requirement of poop jokes quite nicely; and b) points out, quite nicely actually, how important it is to check, recheck, and then re-recheck your work. Sometimes, you really aren't being paranoid.

So what's the best typo you ever saw?

This story sourced from The Guardian, but I did first hear about it on Bob and Tom

I Have the Star War Blu-rays.

There's been so much hyperbole and nerd angst about the Star Wars Blu-ray set that I now honestly find it difficult to understand. Sure, I do understand having a cheap laugh at some of the newly revealed changes when viewing them out of context on the Internet - it makes for solid, snarky writing - but in the last couple of days I've read so much outlandish hand-wringing and cries of boycott that I feel the need to pose some serious questions.

It was nerd "news" over the last few days that an American comics retailer had taken offence at the reboot of Superman in Action Comics #1 because Superman uttered the word "gd". The (very) Christian retailer decided that this was a direct affront to his beliefs (it turned out to be an onomatopoeic grunt) and he called for a boycott of the comic because of this one tiny part. The nerd community all sneered and agreed that this guy was an overreacting, attention-seeking idiot.

Of course, now the exact same sites who reported that unseemly incident are now screaming boycott because George Lucas adds two words to Return of the Jedi. Interesting.

And look, I understand if you just don't give a shit about Star Wars and don't want to buy the thing. That's totally cool. I understand. Personally, I don't want to buy the Blu-ray of Step Up 3D. I just don't remind you every day about it.

My new favourite image EVER.

I got the Blu-ray set today (it was the Australian release) and what I've seen is amazing. Join me after the jump for some highlights...

Pilot Recap: Ringer

 All image credits: CW.

Tonight I watched the pilot episode for Ringer, the new show starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. It was pretty stupid! Spoilers abound below.

The Perspective Art of James Hopkins

James Hopkins is an artist of many talents, but I am taken with his perspective art. Basically things that form an image when viewed from the right perspective. (And of those, I am of course taken by the pieces based on cartoon characters.)

For example:

This is two different angles of the same piece!

More after the cut:

WedNESday Dreams

Some people spend their time working high paying jobs and driving Aston Martins. Some people work high paying jobs that they hate and have mountains of coke and hookers ready for them when they get home. Some people work crappy jobs with no future prospects and toil away at projects that they hope will be their lottery ticket to fame and fortune. Dear reader, view my current project and judge for yourself what sort of person I am.

WTF is WedNESday?

WedNESday is another excuse to turn a day of the week into something much bigger than that. It's a day of the week with a theme!  Just like Metal Mondays and Thank Gif It's Friday, you'll see NES related posts in-between our usual BS related posts.

The theme of WedNESday is open to interpretation and does not have any hard rules. If it's about Nintendo, it's all good! If it's about other retro gaming.. good too! How about game inspired art? Sounds awesome! 8-bit music? Yeah! Video game fan fiction? I hope!

To kick things off, here is the wonderful trailer for The Legend Of Zelda Movie (1987) that made it's way around most of the internet a few months ago. Stick around until the end for (or click here to download) an awesome 8-Bit version of New Order's Bizarre Love Triangle recorded by our good friend Chipocrite.

The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Perverts

Unless you have been living under a rock (or have no interest in the movie) you've probably seen photos of the 'on location' filming for the Avengers that took place in New York a couple of weeks ago. Being the good fangirl pop culture enthusiast that I am, I thought it was really my duty to scour the internets for photos of boys (and one girl) in superhero costumes, being like, totally cute. After a while, I started to notice a trend. Head below the cut for a whooooole lot of photos.

What's Out? Week of 14th of September

It's that time again! New comics and such are out and you're about to spend an hour at your local comic shop scratching your head thinking about purchases. Don't worry! I got your back, kid!

Bury me with my Urban Decay Alice in Wonderland Palette

HA, just kidding. Cremation all the way.

I never thought I'd get my hands on one of these, ever. The Naked Palette I was pretty much like "yeah, it'll make it's way over eventually" but this? No way. I've eyed them sadly on ebay for some time and put them in the "never going to happen" pile. Then one day, on twitter, during an idle conversation about unattainable eyeshadow, my good friend Sarah mentioned that she had a spare one she could do without, and did I want it? Answer: I squealed.



Granted, this isn't usual FP programming, but I'm looking at it through packaging eyes, not beautyblogger eyes. I've done a variation of this on my blog to show swatches and go into a bit more girly detail, if that's more your speed.



More after the break:

The Book Was Better Episode Two: Batmansbatmansbatmans!

In our second episode we tackle that fan favourite, The Dark Knight. Or more accurately, the abomination that is the Junior novelisation of The Dark Knight. If you like onomatopoeia, this is a podcast you shouldn't miss! POW!

GRAB IT FROM THE OFFICIAL THE BOOK WAS BETTER SITE.

We're also on iTunes, so why not subscribe? Don't you love us as much as we love you? We love you.

The Old Republic: Smuggler Class. Nobody's Buying It.

Star Wars extra extra saturation week continues (I pick up my Blu-ray set tomorrow!) and another video for the elusive, yet presumably upcoming, MMORPG The Old Republic has been caught in the 'net. We've already seen the Jedi Consular and everybody's favourite sport Hutt Ball, now it's time to zero in on the Smuggler Class and its character progression. And it looks a little fishy to me. Take a look for yourself:

I've been worried that smuggler is going to be a kind of pussy support class, and although this (admittedly amazing looking) video does its best to pump him up, I'm afraid I'm just not buying it! Look, I love Han Solo - he's my favourite (human male) character in the saga! He's one suave customer and totally cocky and badass. His mere presence makes everyone pregnant. Even Greedo!

But if you honestly think, in the in-game environment, that your little unarmoured smuggler with his fancy vest and little pistol is really going to be punching fully battle-suited bounty hunters and troopers in the chops with his bare fists, or killing double-bladed lightsaber wielding Sith demi-gods with a single shot of his puny blaster, then you are having a psychotic episode. Because I'll tell you what's going to happen out there to your smuggler - he's going to have his shifty arse handed to him. By me. Who'll be wearing armour made out of flame-throwers and jetpacks.

My excitement for this game is at all time high - I can't wait to play it and I wish the team every success! It looks stunning. But I'm filing this one under "S" for "Seriously, You've Got to be Shitting Me".

Teefury's Mashed-Up Pop Culture T-Shirts - Only $6 For The Next 24 Hours!

You've probably seen a TeeFury shirt around, or you may already own one. Or... if you're like me, you already own a few dozen. They're limited edition shirts, only available for 24 hours each. Usually a pop culture reference or mash-up and sometimes just a really cool piece of artwork. They're VERY cheap (normally $10 with $2.50 shipping), but for the next 24 hours they are even cheaper.

If you act quickly you can get a random shirt from the past 90 or so days for just $6.00 at http://www.teefury.com.

Yeah, it's a gamble, but that's what makes it fun. Whenever I get shirts that I don't want, I give them to my daughter. It's not too weird for a 3 year old girl to show up at pre-school wearing an Incredible Hulk / Kool-Aid Man mash-up shirt, right?

Click on through to the other side to see some of the awesome shirts that you could end up getting.

Saturday Night Board Games: Alien Dice Drop, Fool's Gold, Raising The Chocolate Bar, ZombieZone

I'm pretty sure you are thinking "why haven't I ever heard of any of those games?" It's because instead of playing new games on Saturday, I went to a fellow game designers house and we spent Saturday evening play testing new games.

Three of the games were mine, and one of them belonged to Alex Strang. Alex is a good friend and creator of the awesome game Super Giant Monster Showdown, and the Tome of Levity (a book of fake RPG spells) for Z-Man games.

Doctor Who S06 E10 The Girl Who Waited

The trailer for this episode didn't really give us a lot of clues as to what we'd be in for. I initially thought they had been caught up in some sort of scenario where robot guys hunted them down in a fatal game of tag. Was I on the money? No. But read on to find out what the hell DID happen.

Metal Mondays - When Metal and Literature collide

Happily today's Metal Monday is crossing over into another of my great loves - books. But hang on, you might say, metal is an audio-experience. What place does a book have in all this?

A LOT, let me tell you. Metal and literature have always sat hand in hand. Ever since some spectacled Tolkien enthusiast picked up a guitar and Liquid Nailsed some screws onto leather cuffs, Metal musicians have been outed as a rather bookish lot. Which pleases my not-so-internal librarian hugely.

More after the break!

Under the Man-croscope: The 12 Most Truly Outrageous Things About Jem and the Holograms!

Jem is coming back! At least according to Cool Toy Review who reported that a revival of Jem and the Holograms was announced on Hasbro's New York Comic Con press release. You remember, Jem, right? Chick with pink hair, heavy make-up, was in a band, battled a punk band called The Misfits. Was in love with the hunky, purple-haired Rio. There was a line of dolls and an animated series. It was big in the eighties. Trust me.

How embarrassing. I've slept with all these women!

Now, I'm a dude. Seriously. So I never had much to do with Jem, although you couldn't help but absorb the advertising and the cartoon - at least peripherally. And as a golden eighties child, I have to admit that I just accepted Jem for what it was and it never set off any alarm bells. The child me was oblivious to the unbridled madness that bubbled beneath her pink plastic surface...

BUT NOW - some 20 years later, it is time for me to put Jem under the Man-croscope! Which is to say, I will heavily scrutinize the first episode of her cartoon with my adult eyes and point out all the ridiculous inconsistencies that sailed over my head as a kid! Last week I turned the Man-croscope on Gator from M.A.S.K. to reveal a cornucopia of incredulity and lies! The lens of the Man-croscope is critical and unwavering. Will Jem fair any better?

JOIN ME AFTER THE JUMP and we'll find out! This is one you won't want to miss!

Our Fancy Re-Design Is All For You!

Okay, so it's not a massive re-design, but do note that there are now three additional tabs below our slideshow: FEATURED REVIEWS, INTERVIEWS, and ORIGINALS.

This is where you'll find links to all of our best content, organised by category, so it's far easier for you to find what you're looking for, whether you're interest in comics, movies, television, games etc! Our "Originals" section is for all the stuff that we made all by ourselves, and expect the "Interviews" to definitely expand over time as this is an area that we're very much interested in pursuing further. I strongly encourage you to have a browse of these archives and have a read of anything awesome that you may have missed. We have not included "news" stories - these are all articles where we've provided some actual content.

We will always strive to make the site as awesome as possible for you, so please do not hesitate to leave us feedback or contact us at contact@fruitlesspursuits.com. We love you.

Umm... here's a picture of Felicia Day and Nien Nunb.

"A madda gaa huuk", "Ja ha ha ha"

In the comments section, please let us know what you would give to be the meat in that sandwich. Come on! Don't be shy! Share your Felicia Day/Nien Nunb fan-fiction! Tell us about the one time he was gunning in her cockpit!

Plush Star Wars Image Gallery: Stitch Wars Strikes Back!

Today marks the beginning of a massive week of events for Star Wars, so brace yourself for some heavy coverage! This week alone, all six movies will make their debut on Blu-ray (along with 40+ hours of additional content), Lego Star Wars: The Padawan Menace will also make its debut on Blu-ray (and DVD) in the states, Clone Wars Series 4: Battlelines will debut with a special double-episode, and we'll be running our first in-depth interview with a special Star Wars guest! And I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from (and if you're not a Star Wars fan, don't worry, we'll have a lot of other new stuff too!).

Boutique and gallery Bear and Bird in South Florida, are currently exhibiting a group show of hand-made Star Wars inspired plush items. It will run from August 12th - September 25th. A price list is now available but items are selling very fast!

By Deadly Sweet Dolls.

If you're not in Florida, then don't fret, because the Bear and Bird Flickr has a full gallery of items on show, which I can't preview for you here, but it's well worth a look. Check it!  (This is the same show that J. previewed back when we had our ugly AT-AT debate!)

Weekly Re-Crap - Week ending September 11th

 The week is over, and we had fun. Except Saturday. The dark void on the image below represents our nuclear Saturday where nobody posted anything! I will make sure that the dark void never shows his faceless face on the Re-Crap again.

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• Continue on for the entire week broken down into fun categories!

KidRobot For Swatch Now Available and Hard To Resist

The KidRobot Swatch watches have been out for a little over a week now, and I have a major urge to buy them all. But if I could narrow it down to three it would be the Tara McPherson, Joe Ledbetter and Tilt ones.

I never really could wear a watch... and I still can't for some reason, but growing up I always liked what Swatch was doing. My wife on the other hand, was obsessed (and still is). So I have a pretty good reason to buy one of these.

Frank Kozik, MAD and Gary Baseman

Now available here for $70 each. They each come with the sweet matching Dunny.

Check out the rest of the collection after the jump, and some old Swatch and non-Swatch favorites.

Banned in the USA! Here's Your Contraband Kinder Surprise!

America has a lot of awesome things. Old men carved in mountains, a giant lady made of copper, bald eagles, and Kat Dennings. But it doesn't have Kinder Surprises!

These delicious chocolate eggs each contain a small buildable toy! But Uncle Sam doesn't want you to have these. Oh no, he thinks the parts are too small, and that putting something inedible inside something edible is tempting fate. Simply put, he doesn't trust you or your parenting. And that makes this American Indian cry:

But don't fret, Dear American Readers! I got your back, bro! I have smuggled a couple of Kinder Surprise onto the Internet and I'm more than happy to crack them open and show you exactly what you're missing. Join me after the jump!

DC Reboot Review: All of week 2.

Yes, yet another look at some DC rebooted titles. But instead of some I am taking a small look at all of the new DC titles from this week. 

DC Reboot Review: Animal Man #1 & Swamp Thing #1. The Excellent.

The obscure and overwrought Hawk and Dove might have been an easy target for ridicule, but that's not to say that showcasing relatively obscure comic characters doesn't make for a good book. Case in point, the first week of September also features the debut of Animal Man #1 and Swamp Thing #1, featuring the exploits of two title characters that, up until a few hours ago, I didn't know a lot about. They are also, in my fledgling opinion, two of the absolute best books released so far in the DC reboot. And there's not a glimpse of Batman in either of them! (No, wait... he pokes his head into Swamp Thing).

Join me after the jump to discover why these two outsiders work so well, and why I loved these books! (There'll be minor SPOILERS)...