We're one episode away from the finale, and at this stage I'm assuming that it's pretty much going to cause everyone's brains to bleed out of their ears. Through confusion or awesomeness, I'm not yet sure, but I'm confident on the bleeding part. 'Closing Time' bought back a favourite classic villain and favourite recent companion to presumably act as a nice fluffy cushion between the 'Oh, I'm so ronery' of last week, and next week's carnage. Read on to find out what went down!
The Doctor drops in on Craig (who we first met in last season's episode 'The Lodger') as a 'I'm going to die, so let's go visit my pals first' social call, but then of course Cybermens turn up and Adventures happen. Of course. Only problem is that this time Craig has a baby who he's in charge of looking after by himself for the weekend. Strollers aren't great for adventuring. The Cybermens are holed up underneath a department store sucking all the electricity and stealing people to cyber-convert. So, obviously, the Doctor gets a job in the shop.
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| 'I work in a shop now. Shops are cool.' |
Craig attempts to assist in Investigationing, but ends up being accused of being a weird stalker pervert.
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| No idea why! |
Then everyone kept thinking the Doctor and Craig were 'partners' in a different manner than they considered themselves.
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| No idea why! |
Anyway, after all that, the Cybermen eventually nabbed Craig and got halfway through the conversion process, but then Craig heard his son cry and all the emotions that the Cybermen were trying to strip from him came FLOODING BACK. Essentially, he defeated them with love.
*cough*
The Good
Craig's back! Hello Craig!
Craig is a fan favourite for good reason. A perfect voice of reason to counter the Doctor's whirlwind personality. While essentially his role in this episode was just to remind the Doctor that life isn't all doom and gloom, and he does a lot of good for the universe, his appearance lightened the mood from the last couple of eps, and it was one of the funnier episodes for quite some time. 'You're my BABY!' Ha. And really, how many characters could pull off wearing a papoose for most of the episode? Papoose. What a great word.
Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All
I said it in Night Terrors, and I'll say it again. The Doctor + kids = awesome. Could possibly have something to do with the fact he apparently speaks fluent Baby.
Now, I don't really like kids, but that is a CUTE baby. This is Craig's son Alfie, or as he prefers to be known, 'Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All'. The Doctor spends most of the episode chatting away to him like it's no big deal. A+. He also hangs out with some kids and flies a remote controlled helicopter into things.
Excellent. Even more kidlets next season please.
Cybermen! Okay, okay, CyberPEOPLE.
I love the Cybermen. I just love their design, and their distinctive look, and the fact they're completely terrifying despite looking like something you might mistakenly put your rubbish in. It was a bit of a different take on the Cybermen this time, and stayed away from the Epic Invasion story that has become common. And they introduced this little guy:
Little remote controlled Cyber Rat thing. Brilliant. It cruised around and sussed things out, and if it felt threatened it got all toothy. Hilarious little guy. The only thing that felt a LITTLE bit weird about the whole Cybermen scenario is how casual both sides were.
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| 'Yeah, well, we're going to invade your asses EVENTUALLY, but we're just chillin' for now.' |
Ouch.
Well, apart from the irrepairable damage that occurred when my OVARIES EXPLODED, not too much.
Well, actually the whole 'Love conquers all' thing did make me vomit in my mouth a tiny bit, but it's not necessarily a bad thing, I'm just a heartless bitch. :D
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| Naw. Oh alright then. |
Eau De Pond
Just when we thought we were going to have a whole episode without Amy, BAM! She turns up unexpectedly in the shopping centre and the Doctor gets all misty.
Wait. Why is she signing an autograph for a small child? Did her newly-discovered emotional range get her on the news? Did she win the British Complaining Championship? And hey, why is Rory carrying all her shit like a packhorse? POOR RORY.
No, no. It turns out that she's actually super famous because she has her own perfume. Clearly. Because that's a thing that happens to random people all the time.
Ignoring the 'Why the hell does Amy have a perfume?' concept, let's look at the autograph scenario. Let's say the kid is...seven. Seven seems a reasonable guess. Would you, at seven years of age, be gagging to get an autograph from a person who spruiks perfume? Would you?? I sure as hell wouldn't. And Stormy thinks it's ridiculous too.
The trailer for next week is pretty insane and exciting. The end of Closing Time resulted in River being tranquilised and shoved in an astronaut outfit to fulfil her destiny as the Doctor Killer. Heavy. But despite all the crazy endgame stuff, what really caught my eye in the trailer was this:
Oh sheeeet, it's a (really blurry) pterodactyl! How can an episode be bad when there's a pterodactyl in it?? Hold your tongue, Torchwood fans....
There are some really cool promo photos for the finale floating around, and you can see a whole bunch of them over at Seriable. This one is my favourite:
So basically my wishlist for next season is 'more kids' and 'The Doctor with puffy hair'. That's not too much to ask, surely? Oh, and the coat. THE COAT. The coat FOREVER.
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