Project Runway Recaps: S09 E05

 

Welcome to Project Runway recaps! As always, you don't need to have seen the show to enjoy my stupid drawings.


Another team challenge! I swear they are doing more of them than usual this season, probably because of Bert. Everyone hates Bert! And with good reason. Anyway, they are given New Balance clothing and taken to some kind of running hall and made to run for the privilege of being team leaders. This is a bit unfair because boys have big muscly legs, even dainty fashion boys, so all the team leaders are men. Anyway before this even happen Cecilia leaves because she is upset that Julie went home instead of her(?). I will miss her crazy accent. The most important thing is that Tim is wearing a totally awesome outfit: a pink shirt, tartan tie and red pocket square! ADORABLE!!!

Heidi has "designed" some shoes for New Balance so they have to make clothes to go with them. Shades of Tyra! I have always sensed a true megalomaniac beneath Heidi's milkmaid exterior. They are in groups of three, and Viktor and Oliver get to choose who comes back so they choose Josh C, about whom I can remember exactly nothing. Josh M chooses Anya because she is awesome, and Becky because she is good at sewing. Nobody wants Bert, but Anthony Ryan and Laura get him.

Back at the studio Josh M (updated George Michael) is horrible to Becky, ignoring all her suggestions and treating her like a seamstress. When she asks if she can design something, he explains why he can't allow that:

"You do dowdy dresses, you know that!"

When she gets upset he tries to convince her that "it's not a bad thing" but then gets angry when she won't stop crying and start sewing. He says, "If you're tired, take a nap!" which is something I wish my coworkers would say to me. She goes into the ladies' toilets to cry with Anya and he bursts in and semi-apologises so she will come back and sew some more.

Bert is grumpy and awful, muttering under his breath and refusing to change his design even though with the sneakers it makes the model look like one of those ladies who go on the train with their work clothes on and their high heels in a plastic bag. He is possibly nuts but probably just an asshole.

Heidi comes in to check on them and Josh C refers to her as "the Klum of Doom," which I like a lot. They are all doing so badly she gives them an extra five hours!

Laura complains that her model has a big butt. Bitch, you are designing New Balance casualwear to be sold on Amazon. If you can't fit a big butt into some jersey, you might as well give up now.

The clothes are kind of boring, which is not surprising given the assignment. Anthony Ryan manages to make a truly astoundingly bad playsuit in Grecian-draped jersey, with huge shorts that nevertheless give the model cameltoe.

 

Heidi wants to send him home but the others are dead against Danielle, who keeps making sad tops in chiffon. She has even used chiffon in this athletic challenge (after being told to concentrate on denim and suede), so this seems justified.

There are two winners, Viktor with his motorcycle jacket and Josh M with his (Anya's) dress. When he comes into the waiting room he ecstatically hugs Anya and declares, "I couldn't have done it without you!" Then as an afterthought he turns to Becky and says, "And Kimberley! ... I mean Becky!"