Pre-Order Gears of War 3 Retro Lancer Replica! Head Says No. Crotch Says "HELL YES!"

I received an email today from EB Games here in Australia urging me to pre-order a life-size replica of the retro lancer, to celebrate the pending release of Gears of War 3. Why describe it when I can just show it:

OHHHHHHH YEEEEEEAAAAAH!!!

Join me after the jump and we'll analyse the specs.

So here's the hard data so far on this frivolous murder weapon:

• Created from the actual 3D data used by Epic Games in the Gears of War 3 video game
• Over 3 1/2 Feet in Length
• Trigger Activates Machine Gun Sound Effect
• Hand Painted with weathered and battle worn detail

3 1/2 feet long?! And it doesn't look especially lightweight either. I actually think that given the right circumstances it probably could murder someone - the right circumstances involving it being weilded by a jumpy, sleep-deprived teenager hyped up on Mountain Dew.

Here in Australia EB's offering it for $148, or $128 if you have an existing pre-order for the game. It's certainly not cheap, but it is 3 1/2 FEET LONG! I've probably spent far more on plastic guitar peripherals (and a plastic keytar!) but then again it's not like you can thrash out Through the Fire and the Flames on it.

I see zero practical application for it at all, which is probably why I want it so bad (I bought the Collector's Edition of Call of Duty Black Ops with the dust-collecting remote control spy-vehicle). My head says, "No!" but I guess I could always photograph a fake-blood soaked model with it.

Don't know what the deal is for you American readers - except it's safe to say it will be a whole lot cheaper.