Batboobies

On August 25th, 2009, two things happened that were HUGE in the life of Yours Truly. One, we were packing up the Lillymobile and hitting the road, headed up to Cleveland Clinic to have our then 21 month old son Bennett's skull cracked open so that he could have a brain tumor sucked out.

And the second was, of course, that Eidos and Rocksteady released Batman: Arkham Asylum for the XBox 360, and superhero gaming was never the same again.

For the first time in the history of sweat-soaked gamepads, geeks everywhere got to REALLY feel what it was like to actually BE the Dark Knight Detective, facing off against the likes of adversaries as little known to the General Population as Killer Croc and Scarface, or as well known as Scarecrow, Bane, Poison Ivy and of course, The Joker.

This game had everything. Batarangs. Bat Grappling Hooks. Detective Mode. Awesome fighting moves with a wide variety of martial art techniques. Even many sequences that required you to use more stealth than strength.

Plus, there were titties.

Of course, I experienced NONE of that at the time. I was hip deep in surgical recovery. What am I an animal? I mean...I love a great pair of digital cans as much as the next uber nerd, but this is my CHILD we're talking about...and he was in distress.

So I didn't get exposed to any of the awesomeness that was Batman: Arkham Asylum or the Bat Titties therein until 2010.

But when I did, Man 'O Shevitz how awesome of a game it really was, and while admittedly I would sometimes get overly mesmerized by the bouncing melons, I was much more taken in by the act of becoming Gotham's favorite son.

In fact, that game is second only to Red Dead Redemption as my favorite playing experience of all time. It is a game that I still go back to and play, again and again.

It never gets old.

And why should it?

But soon, very soon, I won't have to go backwards anymore for my fix of Bat-Cleavage or henchman ass-kicking.

This October, the long-awaited sequel, Batman: Arkham City makes its debut. To say I am stoked about this game is the understatement of the YEAR. In fact...due to the financial gloom that is our economy, I have a 2011 rule that has prevented me from buying any new games when they are released.

Since I am a 'sandbox' gamer, you can imagine how much I have REALLY been dying to play L.A. Noire. But I have stuck to my guns and have not bought it yet. Thankfully, it is coming to me as a gift in about a week so I can play it while I am recovering from a Tonsillectomey on August 26th.

Sweet.

But this game?

This Batman: Arkham City?

It will be the Exception to the Rule. There always is one. I will be pre-ordering it. And it will be the ONLY game of the year that I will be doing it for. The ONLY one.

To be able to get back into the cape and cowl again, with all-new adventures, all-new missions, and from what I have been hearing, the gameplay is much more expansive, with a 'sandlot' feel to it, which is WAY more up my alley...just means that I will be that much more...attracted to it.

As each new tidbit ofr info gets released, my saliva level only grows more intense. This morning I got an e-mail in my Inbox with the latest trailer featuring one of the Missions involving Mr. Freeze.

Hey everybody...CHILL.




I think I just got a...STIFFY.

Man I can't WAIT for this thing...just can't FREAKIN' wait...but I have to. And then I will be in for the fight of my life. Not just against Victor Fries, Catwoman, Two-Face, Penguin and the rest of them...but against Mrs. Lilly, as I try to justify all the time I am going to be spending away from her and the kids as I get sucked into the world of Gotham's underbelly for a few weeks.

I've been pretty good about controlling my habits with it of late, but with this thing? I already know that I will have no willpower whatsoever.

I mean...how can I? LOOK AT ALL THE GODDAMN TITTIES!!!!

NICE.